Balancing Friends Who Still Drink

One difficult part that comes later on in recovery is building your social circle to reflect your new lifestyle. Obviously, for those who have suffered from alcohol abuse, they probably have friends who partake in alcohol, even just moderately.

This may add a certain level awkwardness, and a whole swath of questions about how this will effect the newly formed you. Clearly, you may very well still want to be friends with these people, as nobody wants to say farewell to a friendship. 

Here’s some information on balancing friends who still drink… 

How badly do they use? 
Is this friend of yours also an addict? 
Do they feel that they absolutely have to drink when you are around them, sometimes without control? If so, you may feel a strong desire to help them overcome this. 
Are they committed to helping you in recovery?
And while this is certainly a noble pursuit for later in, you should probably limit your contact with them early on in your recovery. This type of environment can be very triggering for a recovering alcoholic. 

Focus on making yourself the best person that you can be before you try to fix other people. Once you have found your footing, you will be a much more valuable tool in helping a friend find recovery. However, you don’t have to avoid people who drink, as a matter of principle. Being around alcohol use probably isn’t the best idea, but most of those who drink moderately every now and then probably won’t feel compelled to drink while you are around. 

While people who still drink aren’t joining in your journey towards a life without alcohol, they can definitely still contribute support. Emotional support and encouragement can be given by anyone, regardless of their personal usage. Keep these people close and let them help you. It does nobody any good to lose relationships that are meaningful and valuable. However, if someone is acting in a way that is detrimental to your recovery, and contributes negatively to your attempts to get sober, there should certainly be a discussion on whether or not it is in your best interest to continue associating with that person. 

You don’t have to cut entire groups of people out of your life 

Remember, there isn’t always a need to be dramatic and cut people out of your life. Cutting yourself from everyone in the world who drinks isn’t exactly realistic, and is a silly way to approach recovery and life. Recovery is about being stable as your own person, and working to build a better life for yourself and those around you. If there are friends who support and work alongside you to do just that, then they are your true friends, through and through, regardless of whether or not they drink or use.

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